Love is in the air

New York: America’s airwaves may be rife with reports of US military abuse in Saddam’s torture cells at Abu Ghraib in Iraq, and thicker still with the even more deplorable beheading of an American civil contractor in the beleaguered Middle Eastern nation. The American atmosphere may be rent with polemic, Democrats bashing Republicans, conservatives slamming liberals, the left hooking it to the right; Bush’s buddies socking it to Kerry’s cohorts, the ambience thick with animosity and division. This sorry world’s climes, too, might reek with the stench of destruction like (the nearly totally overshadowed by Middle Eastern hype) genocide/ethnic cleansing in Sudan, the horrific assassination of the leader of Chechnya, the infinite continuum of conflict and violence in Israel/Palestine/Kashmir and more, the roll call of cataclysm, chaos and suffering seeming to be without end.

But all is not lost — an end there is! Take heed, take heart! Salvation is in the air! Or will be soon, according to the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. The renowned nirvanist who brought the Beatles to India, then flew west with the young men, mooring his spiritual ship in American shores, is threatening to magic carpet — bomb the world with peace. Sounds like jabberwocky to you? Here’s the simpler version: The Maharishi issued a proclamation recently stating that “large groups of peace-creating Yogic Flyers” were going to “promote coherence in world consciousness and change the trends of life from destruction to peace.” Yogic wha, did you say? According to Alltm.org, one of the many websites promoting the godly guy’s teachings, yogic flying is but a “natural extension” to transcendental meditation. The uplifting experience, evidently, manifests itself in three stages: Saith the site, “Stage One is generally associated with what would best be described as ‘hopping like a frog.’ Stage Two is flying through the air for a short time. Stage Three is complete mastery of the sky.” And if you think they’re just blowing wind, check out Alltm.org/YFlying.html to see a picture of three joyous souls on the up and up.

So, ease up, my loved ones, and breathe freely; the Maharishi and his upwardly mobile minions are going to clean up this unholy mess. In fact, the statement promises that the higher beings “will create a peaceful world within a few months.” A few months?! Golly! Now will someone please inform the US Air Force, lest they blow those peace bearers to kingdom combusted as they take to the skies?