A senior Welsh bishop has used his Easter message to attack TV star Noel Edmonds for promoting the new-age cult of 'Cosmic Ordering'. The Bishop of St Davids, Carl Cooper, says the idea of a 'divine room service, a heavenly shopping trolley', is nonsense.

If you, like so many of us, have a heart's desire, you may have to wait a fortnight before you get it. In a couple of weeks, a book called The Cosmic Ordering Service arrives in the shops. This is the book made famous by Noel Edmonds's admission that he used it to get his dearest wishes granted.

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It is true that the "squiggles" on Noel Edmonds's hands are mysterious; they look like the kind of thing a teenage girl might do to herself with a Biro because history was too boring. He does remind me, curiously, of a teenage girl; I can imagine him in a history lesson, bored. Those two facts are much more mysterious to me than his squiggles. Top marks, then, to the journalist who unearthed his new age belief in the Cosmic Ordering Service. I would have been much more likely to ask, "Have you been inhabited by the spirit of a teenage girl? Is that why your voice has also gone a bit quavery?"

Comeback king Noel Edmonds claims the cosmos gave him his surprise hit TV show.