Dr. Moon’s faithful readers

OHMMMM, OHMMMM, OHMMMM

Greg, Ian and Mark, OK, I get it. I think. I think I get why you rely on The Washington Times for your news/views on this whole missing explosives thing.

The Washington Times is owned by the Rev. Dr. Sun Myung Moon. Correct? This would be the same Rev. Dr. Sun Myung Moon who ran a full page advertisement on page A19 of my favorite newspaper, The Arizona Republic, this morning.

It was kind of hard to read, that full page filled with what looked like 4-point type. But the guy owns The Washington Times and you guys really like The Washington Times so I searched through my junk drawer, found a magnifying glass and gave it a try.

This Moon fellow writes that he was sent to America by God “to make America a foothold for world salvation by reviving Christianity.” I know a lot of Republicans think this is a Christian nation, or want it to be a Christian nation, so I guess that part makes sense.

He rambles on a lot about Divine Principle and love and sin. Guess he thinks there’s been a lot of sinning going on in America.

I was particularly taken by this concept: ” …if you adhere to and practice these three major principles of absolute faith, absolute love and absolute obedience, your happiness will be guaranteed.”

So, see, now I get it. People read The Washington Times with absolute faith and absolute obedience because they want to be happy. And what the Rev. Dr. Moon puts in his paper makes you happy. That’s fair. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. Your Swift Boat, probably.

As for me, reading The Washington Times did not make me happy. But knowing that I couldn’t buy into the pap in the paper anymore than I could stomach the prose in the print ad gave me a certain amount of pleasure.

So I guess reading The Washington Times made us all happy today.

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