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Gays and God: Some churches are softening stands
More articles on this topic: Homosexuality/Lesbianism/Bisexuality/Transg.Slow progress: A panel at the PFLAG conference says the ecclesiastical communities are starting to become more accepting
Though they tried, Gary and Millie Watts, of Provo, couldn’t continue to go to church after they learned their son and daughter were gay. The Mormon Church’s position on homosexual relationships while two of their six children were gay was too much to bear.
“When I would go to church, and they would sing or they would have a talk, Millie would cry,” Gary Watts said. “I can’t tell you how much we’ve gone through and how painful it was.”
For the Wattses, it was difficult to stay devoted to a religion that he said closes the door for gays and lesbians. Leaving was how they managed their relationship between religion and homosexuality.
But there is change afoot, albeit small, among ecclesiastical communities in their view toward gay and lesbian issues, though more must be done, according to a panel of church leaders who spoke Sunday on the last day of the national conference of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) at the Grand America Hotel in Salt Lake City.
The Rev. Susan Russell, president of Integrity, a nonprofit organization of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Episcopalians and their straight friends, points to the confirmation of the Rev. Gene Robinson in New Hampshire as the first openly gay bishop of the Episcopal Church.
“I’m utterly convinced that God loves everyone unconditionally,” she said, adding there is a rising acceptance of gays and lesbians in the church.
“Ilike to think that every inch we claim is an inch of hope,” she added.
Even the Unitarian Universalists, a more progressive church on world issues, once was not accepting of homosexuals, according to the Rev. Meg Riley, director of the church’s Office for Advocacy and Witness. But it has since changed as cultural and social views of gays and lesbians evolved, she said.
In a 1967 study, more than 7 percent of its members thought homosexuality should be discouraged by law while 80 percent felt it should be discouraged by education, she said.
Then in 1972, the church opened the Office of Gay Concerns to help with gay and lesbian members, and now in 2004, more than a third of the congregation is actively involved in educating its members about homophobia.
“It’s not by magic that change happens,” she said.
Bob Rees, a former bishop with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Los Angeles, said he became a supporter of homosexual acceptance in his church - even though he does not have a family member who is gay - after he started counseling gay and lesbian members who were being looked down on in his singles ward.
“In the process, my heart became schooled in what it means to be treated as evil - a lot of heartbreak slowly came out,” he said of the counseling sessions.
For the Wattses, the experience has taught them that each family has a different way ofhandling how to balance their religious faith with the fact that a family member is gay.
“Everybody’s got to do it their way,” Gary Watts said. “If you can do it [stay in the church], great.”
The Wattses have co-founded Family Fellowship, a Utah support group for Mormon families with gay or lesbian members. Gary Watts also serves on the national board of directors for PFLAG.
Rees said he has experienced some backlash in the church over his open views for gays and lesbians.
“I have had to deal with some ecclesiastical censure or disapproval,” he said, though he is still active as a member of the High Priest Group leadership in his current ward. “But I feelone of our responsibilities as Latter-day Saints is to honestly try to do God’s work, and that means helping to be the healer of shattered hearts.”
• Read the Salt Lake Tribune online
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