Chest challenged chicks ring in bigger breasts

Some of the silly tunes Japanese pay to download to use as the ring tone for their mobile phones sure have their knockers, but it’s for precisely that reason that a well-known counselor is raking it in at the moment, according to Shukan Gendai (10/2).

Hideto Tomabechi — who first made headlines in Japan almost a decade ago after he cured brainwashed members of the AUM Shinrikyo doomsday cult that unleashed deadly sarin gas on the Tokyo subway system — claims to have developed a tune for ring tones that promises to increase the breast measurements of those who listen to it.

And Tomabechi’s brainchild for better busts has boomed, with chest challenged chicks swarming to transfer data to their own phones.

“I listened to the tune for a week expecting all the time that I was being duped,” says Chieri Nakayama, a 19-year-old pin-up model, tells Shukan Gendai. “But, incredibly, my 87-centimeter bust grew to 89 centimeters! It was awesome!”

Mobile phone ring tone tunes, or chakumero as they’re called in Japanese, are almost an integral part of the arsenal of Japan’s tens of millions of cellular phone users. Each of the big phone companies operates sites where their customers can for a few hundred yen per month download songs they use in place of the blase ring tones pre-installed in the phones. Normally, people select hit songs or TV themes, but Tomabechi’s tit tune has hit a raw nerve somewhere, attracting an almost unimaginable 10,000-plus downloads in the first week it was made available, despite the numerous titters.

“Most would think it’s a lie, but the techniques involved in the process have been known for some time and are the result of research I carried out in the ’80s and ’90s,” Tomabechi tells Shukan Gendai. “I use sounds that make the brain and body move unconsciously. It’s a technique involving subliminal effects.”

Tomabechi claims that techniques exist to provoke movement in a certain part of the brain that reacts to sounds and light.

“It’s a part of cognitive science. I suppose you could call it a kind of ‘positive brainwashing,'” he says. “Sound waves travel in patterns that can be properly re-played.”

It’s an old adage that many illnesses are all in the mind, but if the counselor’s claims are correct, the key to having a huge set of breasts could be the same. Tomabechi says he’s already got plans on the drawing board for ring tones aimed at improving memory, increasing attractiveness for the opposite sex, making hair sprout and quitting cigarettes.

Even if the rockmelon ring tone doesn’t prove to be as effective as its inventor claims, what can’t be denied is its success on the chakumero charts.

“We offer loads of chakumero for sale at 300 yen a month and the tune promising huge breasts would have to be in our top 10 at least. It’s doing far better than we ever expected,” Yuichi Tsujimoto, a spokesman for Media Chic, which offers Tomabechi’s tune online, tells Shukan Gendai. “We haven’t done any advertising for it, so I suppose the tune’s success has come about through word of mouth. We’ve even received mail from one user who said they listened to the tune every night before going to sleep and it made her tits bigger.”

WaiWai stories are transcriptions of articles that originally appeared in Japanese language publications. The Mainichi Daily News cannot be held responsible for the contents of the original articles, nor does it guarantee their accuracy. Views expressed in the WaiWai column are not necessarily those held by the Mainichi Daily News or Mainichi Newspapers Co.

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