Poll Mistakenly Showed Public Is In Tom Cruise’s Corner

Magazine Parade has thrown out the results of a Tom Cruise opinion poll after they grew suspicious of the surprising landslide majority. Parade’s website recently asked online readers if they blamed Cruise or the media for his disastrous public relations last year, and magazine bosses were stunned to find 84 percent of respondents blamed the press.

Cruise was ridiculed in the press for his many public declarations of love for fiance’e Katie Holmes and his claims of medical expertise thanks to his controversial religion Scientology.

Parade publicist Alexis Collado tells website PageSix.com, “We at Parade found this a little bit fishy, so we did some investigating. We found out more than 14,000 (of the 18,000-plus votes) that came in were cast from only 10 computers! One computer was responsible for nearly 8,400 votes alone, all blaming the media for Tom’s troubles.”

Collado added, “We also discovered that at least two other machines were the sources of inordinate numbers of votes. It seems these folks (whoever they may be) resorted to extraordinary measures to try to portray Tom in a positive light for the Parade.com survey. There is even a chance they wrote a special ‘bot’ program for the sole purpose of skewing the results, rather than casting the votes by hand on a computer.”

Cruise’s spokesman insists the actor is ignorant of the survey’s existence, saying, “I know nothing about the poll, so we have nothing to comment on.”

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